Brain dump...

Here are my random thoughts for the week:

-Running - I have never been a runner, but recently have gotten on an exercise kick and LOVE to run...well jog really. I go to the YMCA to walk on the treadmill and end up jogging most of the time. It is such a great release of energy and just makes me feel good.

-Zumba - I am still doing Zumba and loving it! I had to miss several classes last week while we were in Atlanta and I was craving it. Also, I went yesterday and we had a substitute teacher and it was NOT the same. The regular teacher is awesome, and I had never been to a class without her until yesterday. I still got a good workout, but I realized that the teacher makes a huge difference!

-Fall - I am craving all things fall - clothes, weather, colors, leaves, etc. My car read 100 degrees today, and it is awful! I am so ready to get out my Frye boots and sweaters and go play outside with Hawkins!

-Clothes - I haven't gotten into any of the clothing trends since fall of 2009 - seriously. That is when I got pregnant and wore maternity clothes for the next year. Then I had a baby and couldn't wear any normal clothes, so I just couldn't bring myself to buy cute nice clothes. Now my body is finally getting back to normal (but still 15 lbs to lose) and I am excited about buying some new fall outfits! I just ordered a chunky sweater turtleneck and a black pair of skinny pants from Jcrew. They came in the mail today and I can't wait to wear them!

-Organization - I have really been getting into organizing lately. I wrote a post about my new Erin Condren planner, and I am obsessed with it. I take it with me everywhere even though it is pretty heavy. I also created a home organization notebook that is totally nerdy, but I love it. I got both of these ideas from the Blue-Eyed Bride. I had been feeling anxious and not getting anything accomplished and now I am a new person. I have our menu planned for the week and a to-do list for each day. I am getting so much more done and feeling satisfied at the end of the day. It is a wonderful feeling!

-Baby fever - I get a flutter of baby fever every once and a while. Robbie is dying to have another baby right now, but Mama is not quite ready yet. Soon though. I do finally feel like I have this SAHM thing down. I can handle it. I can leave the house multiple times a day with success and without meltdown from me or from Hawkins :) I selfishly don't want to rock the boat...we have such a good routine going, but I also think I could handle 2 babies once we would be out of the newborn phase. We shall see...

That's it for now. Have a good week!

Ahhh....

I would like to report that I got my first full nights sleep WITHOUT the help of medicine in over 2 weeks! It was glorious!

I am treating myself like Hawkins and trying to "wear myself out" during the day so that I am exhausted by bedtime. Well, yesterday it worked. Robbie had to travel out of the state for work, so he left the house before 6am and did not get home until almost 7pm. I am so used to him helping me before and after work with Hawkins!

I started out my day at 6:30am making cheesestraws (which takes me 3 hours with Hawkins running around), then made a Publix run after lunch, then went to Zumba in the afternoon, and THEN washed and dried my hair, which we all know is a workout itself.

As 9pm approached, my body gave out. I was so tired that my muscles ached. I felt confident about falling asleep, so I tried to give it a go without any meds. It worked! I woke up a few times in the night, but quickly fell back asleep and slept all the way to 7AM - that is a miracle. I usually wake up at 6 or before WITH ambien. Hawkins is sleeping now and I am not even laying down for a rest.

This gives me hope that I can get back in my routine and put the medication on the shelf.

Hawkins went to school this morning and did GREAT. He is getting better and better. I dropped him off and then went to treat myself to a pedicure. This is a rarity these days since I have cut them from our budget, but I splurged.

I go get him from school early b/c he still takes a nap and usually he is already tired and crying by the time I get there, but today he was happily playing in his classroom with the kitchen set. He didn't see me, so I let him play another 10 or 15 minutes before I got him. He has gone from taking his morning nap at 9:30am all the way to 10:30am and it has made a huge difference. He can stay longer at school and not get so cranky.

Go Hawkins!

Free Mommy Cards from Minted!

I just ordered my free Mommy cards from Minted!

The Blue Eyed Bride wrote a post about Minted and their promotion, and I had to order mine right away. I don't hand out my number much in Thomasville, but who could resist these cute cards??

These are the ones I ordered...in pink even though I have a son. Oh well, I liked the pink!

Go here to order yours:

http://www.minted.com/mommy-calling-cards

Doodle with Daddy

Thursday was Doodle with Dad day at Hawkins' school. Daddys went for the first 30 minutes and drew a picture with their children and spent some time in the classroom. Of course I had to go take a few pictures :)

Having fun with Daddy

Tracing our hands

Hawkins loved having Robbie there!

Erin Condren life planner!

I read several blogs and in July it seems they were ALL talking about Erin Condren!

Her life planners have been pretty popular since they came out with the new 2012 ones. Bloggers everywhere were going on about the bright colors and handy tabs, and I could not wait to get my hands on one.

The price tag put a halt to my plans until Plum District had a deal for $50 worth of Erin Condren products for $25! I snagged it immediately and placed my order! It took a few weeks (seemed like months) to come in, but it finally arrived last week! I practically chased down the FedEx man and planned my whole day around it's arrival b/c it required a signature - sad I know.

Even the packaging was pretty...

Here it is! The planner is for the rest of 2011 and all of 2012.

The pages are filled with bright colors and inspirational quotes

Each month has a tab followed by pages for days. I forgot to take a picture of a day pages, but they are broken down into "morning, day and evening". I didn't think I would like it at first, but I really do!

Erin also threw in some freebie stickers!

I just LOVE my planner. It take it everywhere and have written all our important dates for the rest of the year. I already had a pretty good planner, but I like the tabs and day pages better on this one. It has made me so much more organized and maybe even more sane :)

Insomnia

I have not been able to sleep in a week. It started out where I would go to sleep fine, but would wake up at 3 or 4 or 5 and not be able to go back to sleep. I would be a little tired during the day, but feel ok. Then I would sleep for an hour and wake up and stay awake for 2 hours, sleep for an hour - on and on. Then I just could not sleep AT. ALL.

Do you know what it feels like to lay awake all night long? Everything is quiet and dark except for your mind. It is lonely and kind of scary.

I took tylenol PM with no help - and they always work for me. One night I took 2 of them and just lay there with my heart racing and my mind racing from thought to thought. Not one particular thought that was keeping me awake - but a jumble of a million thoughts. Fragments popping into my mind. It is weird.

All the while Robbie is taking the Neupogen shots to prepare for the stem cell transplant and they are making him feel like booty. So I have to pull it together and pack us up for the trip to Atlanta, drive us to Americus to drop Hawkins off and then drive us to Atlanta. I sucked it up and did those things safely and took care of my sweet husband.

I won't go into detail, but the shots did not agree with Robbie. They are a high dosage of a drug that boosts his stem cells. The plump up the cells and make your whole body sore and give you a constant migraine headache - sounds fun huh? He slept alot and just needed to be in a cold dark room. Thank the sweet Lord for my parents. We stayed with them on our way to Atlanta and they took care of Hawkins and both of us.

We arrived in Atlanta Sunday and stayed with friends. We were able to rest there after visiting Bryan in the hospital.

Then someone gave me an anti-anxiety pill (b/c obviously that is what I needed.). Sunday night I took 2 of them and it was glorious. I slipped under the covers and felt comfortable. It took about an hour to fall asleep, but my mind was not racing and I was peaceful. I fell asleep around 11pm and the next thing I knew it was 6am - VICTORY! I was still a little groggy, but felt great.

We got through Monday with a mid-day nap, and I felt good about being able to sleep again last night. I took one of the anti-anxiety pills and got into bed. Nothing. Lots of thoughts - not racing, but still lots of thoughts. No sleep.

Sleep mask - check, loud noise machine - check, my own temperpedic pillow - check, my blankie that I have slept with since birth - check, complete darkness - check, a bed to myself b/c I slept in the other guest room to escape Robbie's snoring - check. And still no sleep. Finally at 11pm I took another pill and hoped for the best. (I had started trying to go to sleep at 9:30)

I HAD to be alert for the big transplant the next day.

Another hour went by and still no sleep. After that things go fuzzy and I finally fell asleep until 4am. Snoozed until my alarm went off at 5:30. I jumped out of bed and showered and quickly got ready. We went to Starbucks quickly!

We are currently at the hospital and Robbie is hooked up. He is donating stem cells as I type.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for Robbie. We pray he gets through todays transplant and that Bryan's body accepts the stem cells and saves his life!

We give all the Glory to God.

Some bible verses I have been focusing on:

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Isaiah 12:2 “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
Romans 5:1 "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ"

Prayers

We need your prayers this week as we head into preparation for Bryan's stem cell transplant. Robbie is the donor and begins his round of prep shots tomorrow.

2 shots twice a day for 4 days - yikes!

This is a procedure that could save Bryan's life and it is such a blessing from God that Robbie is a 10 for 10 match.

We head to Atlanta next week for the transplant. Robbie's donation will take one day, and Bryan will receive the stem cells that same afternoon followed by a lengthy hospital stay while his body gets a new immune system. We pray for safe travels for everyone going to Atlanta, a safe transplant on Robbie's part and that Bryan's body quickly accepts the new stem cells and begins his road to recovery.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Zumba

Have you heard of the new workout craze? It was even on the Today show. Zumba! I had heard of it, but didn't think my tiny town would have it. Low and behold our local YMCA has Zumba classes several days a week. I went last Friday for the first time. Dropping Hawkins off in the nursery was stressful and tearful enough. Then I walk into a dark room filled with colorful lights and jam packed with people jumping and shaking it. Seriously shaking it. A mix of teenagers and grandmothers were all smiling and dancing away their stress.

I could barely see the teacher from my spot in the back, but I liked it. So I went back today. There is something very freeing about sweating and dancing with a bunch of girls and just letting loose - AND getting a workout on top of that.

Robbie got home from work tonight and I was practically skipping around the kitchen I was in such a good mood. I had gotten out of the house, gotten a little break from the babe, and gotten a workout - score!

Latest happenings

So, only 2 days into school and Hawkins is sick. We have got to work on that child's immune system. He woke up Thursday morning with a runny nose, so we played hooky from school that day.

I am hesitant to write about this, but I want to discuss it.

Later that day I did the thing that all Mother's fear as I dialed the numbers 9-1-1 into the telephone as a held my child in my arms. It is hard to describe what happened - it was all SO fast and so scary that my mind has blacked out parts of it. I remember sitting on the couch as Hawkins played with Beau on the floor. Hawkins was patting him then swung his leg over to try to ride him, which has been his new favorite past time. He lost his balance and dove forward hitting his head on the floor (rug over hardwood). I watched the whole thing and didn't think it was that bad of a fall - he was barely a foot off the ground. He started screaming crying and I instantly picked him up and put his head to my shoulder.

Then I noticed that his limbs were tight and stiff. I pulled him away from me to check him out and saw the most horrifying sight - which again is very hard to describe. His arms were stiff and straight up in the air and his head sunk into his neck. He was conscious, but sort of twitching...I think...I can't really remember. His limbs and body were contorted and everything was wrong about it. I just know it was so bad that I instantly called 911 without a second thought. I was filled with panic and fear that was crippling. I tried to pull it together and grab my keys, shoes, cell phone ready to drive to the ER.

While I was on the phone his stiffness went back to normal and he laid quiet and calm on my shoulder his eyes closing and then opening. I was afraid he was passing out. They sent EMS and then I called Robbie. He was home within 5 minutes. By the time Robbie got home Hawkins was quiet as a mouse on my shoulder, but completely coherent and acting fine - just quiet.

He went straight to Robbie and by the time the EMS got there (3 minutes later) he was walking around, pointing and laughing.

I am baffled at what happened. A similar situation has actually happened 3 times before, but not to his severity. He will fall and bump his head and his body reacts to locking up and hitting a reset button. It is the scariest thing EVER! Robbie did some internet research and found something called "breath holding spells" and it describes what Hawkins is doing pretty accurately.

Has anyone ever had this experience with this behavior before or heard about this?

school school school

...is not going so well. This was Hawkins on his first day of school. He was not this happy when he actually got to school :)

I was hesitant from the get-so because Hawkins still takes (and loves) a morning nap. He has never been a great napper, but for the past few months he will sleep an hour and a half to 2 hours in the morning. I picked him up early the first 2 days and he was a crying mess when I got there - just so tired! It is also a new experience for him to be in that environment, so it's all a big adjustment.

I am not sure what to do now. Pick him up early so he can take his nap at home? Leave him and let him figure it out? It will be great in a few months when he goes to one nap a day on his own, but it will a struggle until then.

Good thing he is so stinkin cute!

Fleming's Birth

Robbie and I woke up Friday morning to a text message from Crisp saying that Katie's water had broken in the middle of the night and they were at the hospital having their baby!

I jumped out of bed and jumped in the shower. We were planning on going to Americus anyway that day, so Hawkins and I drove to Albany early to be there waiting.

I got there at 12:20pm and Fleming Elizabeth Gatewood was born at 12:29pm - I got there JUST in time! Katie did great! We went in to see Mom and Baby and then left to get some lunch.

Here is the proud Daddy bringing in Fleming's bag:

We could not wait to get back and hold her again!

Honey and Big Daddy with their new granddaughter

Sister and brother with our babies

It was really hard having Hawkins in the hospital, so we headed to Americus to spend the night. Robbie swung by the hospital when he left work Friday afternoon and then met us in Americus. He stayed there with H on Saturday and Mom, Dad, Virginia and I went back to Albany to see them again.

This is hilarious - all 5 of us trying to change her clothes!

The Gatewood girls with Fleming

Aunt Nina

Two Aunts!

Honey and Fleming

Precious girl

I am an Aunt!

All three of us

Crisp, Katie and Fleming went home from the hospital on Sunday and got settled in. Robbie, Hawkins and I stopped by their house on our way home. We didn't intend to stay long, but ended up staying several hours! I helped Katie get some things organized in the nursery and Robbie boiled all the bottles!

Hawkins was very interested in the baby and was SO sweet to her! He would point to her and say "Baby" and then lay his head on her shoulder.

Sweet Fleming

Hawkins wanted to check out all the baby gear...

Crisp and Katie are loving their new baby girl and are doing such a great job. I HATE that I am here in Thomasville and can't spend the whole week up there helping them!

Fleming Elizabeth Gatewood

I am a niece! My brother and his wife, Katie, had their baby girl on Friday at 12:29pm. Fleming was 7 lbs and 10 oz and 19 inches long. We are so happy for a healthy and beautiful baby!!!

Tractor Birthday Party

This weekend was all about Hawkins! He turned O-N-E on Saturday July 30. We planned him a red tractor birthday party and invited family, friends and neighbors. I am not that creative, but I started early and got advice from all my crafty friends :)

The day started out like Christmas morning opening his gifts. First was a pedal tractor (that went right along with the theme) from Robbie and me. This was his face when he saw it:

He was so excited! He is still too small for it, but he loves to sit on it and turn the steering wheel.

Then he had a birthday waffle for breakfast.

My parents, Robbie's parents, Aunt Virginia and Uncle Bryan came to Thomasville to celebrate. The party started at 5pm and it was HOT - as we expected.

Here are the cupcakes:

The darling wreath that my sweet neighbor made for Hawkins:

Hawkins with Honey and Big Daddy

Our family

Red tractor cake!

Hawkins' smash cake

Hawkins with his favorite babysitter, Lauren

Hawkins with his Grandmomma

Haystacks

Tractor Tires

The smash cake!

"What do I do with this?"

"MMMM, this is good!"

I never would have thought he would get so into the smash cake! He loved it!

"Here, y'all can have some cake"

Dea, Richard, me and Hawkins

It was such a special day and super fun party. Hawkins had a great time we had fun planning it for him. Happy 1st birthday, Hawkins!