God will provide

I have not given an update in awhile about Robbie's brother's battle with lymphoma. This has been on going since January. They did the stem cell transplant in August, and it wasn't a few weeks before Bryan went back into the hospital for his "graft vs. host disease" symptoms. I am not a doctor and will not be good at describing this, but basically Robbie's cells and Bryan's body are at war with each other. This is a battle where no one comes out a winner.

The disease has attacked Bryan's GI tract, and he has not been able to eat or drink anything in 2 months. Can you imagine this? My life literally revolves around food, so I can only imagine this must be miserable. Now he is bleeding internally and they do not predict a positive outcome.

Please keep Bryan and the Raybon family in your prayers. They need strength, comfort and understanding. This is so hard for Bryan and for everyone around him who loves him.

This seems so petty when I have written the above paragraphs, but I was nervous when Robbie left for Atlanta leaving me with the rugrat by myself. Being a stay-at-home Mom is HARD and it is even harder solo. My heart goes out to single parents b/c it is a taxing job.

Lately, Hawkins has formed velcro to his body that attaches to my leg anytime I try to do anything that does not involve me playing with him. A child pulling at your leg makes it hard to cook, shower, brush your teeth or do just about anything. There have been some loooooong days in our house this week, so I was not ecstatic about doing it by myself. I realize how important this situation is though, so I told Robbie to go and stay as long we he needed. We would be fine.

(Usually I would immediately call my Mother and make her come stay with me, but she was already out of town). I also had a feeling that we would in fact be fine.

Instead of counting down the minutes to bedtime or the next activity - I prayed. I prayed for patience, and I prayed for me and my baby boy to have fun. I stopped cleaning the house and had no one to prepare dinner for, so we played and chased each other and laughed. It was really fun. I asked for God's help and he provided.

I planned activities to keep us busy, and the time just flew by. He must have misplaced his velcro b/c he was not so clingy, he has eaten well (b/c meal times are war at our house), slept well and I did get a babysitter for 3 hours today so that I could make cheese straws and have a little break. It was worth it.

Watching such a tragic situation unfold always leads me back to God. I may not live my life for God everyday like I should, but I have an unwavering faith about these things. God does have a plan. He knew the moment we would be born and the moment we would die before we were in the womb. He listens to our prayers and gives us comfort when we need it.

I am so thankful I have such a loving God.